To the not-so-It girls

Cheers to the girls who say Thank you Sir and Yes Ma'am
The girls who struggle to tell a flirt from a front
 
To the 1s with belly laughs follwed by piggish grunts
The 1s who seldom dream of white frocks and big rocks
 
To the girls who try and fail to replace the "F" word with "Phudge"
Cheers to the girls who were never picked first when playing "house"
 
Here's to the girls who can't keep their brazilians alive for long
And the 1 who manicure to hide brittle, bitten, insecure nails
 
Cheers to the girls who gate crash cool kid parties dressed for warmth and dressed for comfort. To the 1s who arrive uninvited
 
To the girls who dream of getting lost on winding dirt roads; who dare to wish for hippie suitors with Christ-like qualities
 
Cheers to the 1s who on reaching home, lock the door with 1 hand  and snap their bras off with the other
To the freaks in the streets and the geeks between sheets
 
Cheers to the 1s who sit on kitchen counters with their legs crossed...
eating as they speak,
speaking as they eat.
 
Snaps to the girls who will never make the cover of Glamour
To the unbandaged sore thumbs, the anomalies,
the hurricane Lucy's
the romantic asexuals
 
Cheers to you if your mother  maybe loves you but definitely worries about you
Kudos to you if you seem to get things wrong by design and right by luck
 
Cheers to you if the It girls and cool kids don't like you.
They have evolved and still they don't see you...
 
They have gone from liking yellow bones, to Lupitas,
from embracing Twiggys to loving Nikkis
And as you wait your turn, they have hashtagged and Woman Crushed, but it was never you....
 
They.
Don't.
See.
You.
Their fads and trends keep missing you...
 
Cheers to you anyway
 
You are a mustard seed.
We command mountains to move on your count and unknown to you and them, we shift the world at your yawning
 
You'll never hear the sounds as champagne glasses clink in awe of you.
Yours are silent cheers and muffled toasts...
But that is okay...you know better than to expect raucus claps, floods of embrace.
You know better than to wait for a crowd or a fanbase
 
You know that the world does not easily welcome your customs
 
You also now that the world does not celebrate beginners
 
You know that the crowd always tips the scales against the drifters
 
But more importantly, you know that the pioneer is not the leader or the lag, but the first follower.
 
So cheers to you as you wear the glove that fits

One day

That I will one day taste my insecurities out through my sinews and know only the evidence of his full reciprocity...
 
That we will someday breathe safe in trust and drenched in lust for every tomorrow that will be us and ours...
 
That I will one day live the pains, the greats, the weights, the depths and the blisses of his heart as my own...
 
That we will one day cry the same tune as we sing a sober melody of truth
 
That one day time will melt into nothing and space will shrivel up in waste as his chest feeds life from my veins...
 
That my seams will weave into his fingers and my fears drown alongside his footsteps as he walks us into the infinite...
 
That all the days, dawns and mornings will one day resemble that single place in heaven
 
That he will one day carry me in his arms the way I bear him in my heart of hearts...
 
That I will someday live dreams, dream realities and be fantasies as he touches me into a blissful paradigm.
 
That I will 1 day
Love,
Lust,
Want
and love once again like this
 
when 1 day will be forever.

..........................................................................
Note: I have not written in a while; except into my journal. This is feeling new again; this writing about my sadness. I have not felt like this in forever and while I detest the feeling, I love the moment it affords me because it sobers me into the realness that is my human heart. I feel indebted here: to forever love the person who made me feel this way. It is pure and beautiful madness.